Kallola

Sunday Herald, Deccan Herald. March 20, 2011, cover story. http://www.deccanherald.com/content/147140/true-essence-india.html On an unusually hot April day in Wimbledon, the extremely attractive and very young guest of a neighbour knocked on my door. In cropped linen trousers and a simple chiffon top, she was a welcome draught of cool in that unnatural heat. Just five days old in the country, she was there to meet a prospective groom, born and bred in swanky Chelsea. Naturally, she had no problems with following the arranged marriage tradition, but was in tears after a few meetings with this dashing lawyer, who worked in the City. He came from a very modern home with traditional values. They had rice and chapattis every day. He enjoyed watching Hindi movies – in fact he knew most of the current songs. She didn’t. Many of his pals were Indian and Asian, but his best friend was Scottish. She politely smiled at his jokes and he never got hers. He touched his parents’ feet on every sp...

re-written since Emirates Parent Plus. February 2011 Nine years ago, I was this miracle maker that produced the most wonderful 21 inch wonder of all – a Baby Boy! I was congratulated, applauded and celebrated. Add to that, I had provided the family the first grandson of the generation, the only one in a decently long line of probables. A few weeks ago, someone brought back old memories. The stimulus for this talk was a young couple, in the close circle, expecting their baby. Speculation was rife on whether my son’s exclusivity will be challenged! Newsflash informs me that the record remains. My personal glory? Well, let’s just say, “I know the feeling”. As it happens, I am fortunate to be among the fun-loving, academic and professionally very well accomplished, who continue to further their illustrious ilk. So while I had comforted myself with the thought that this obsession with the boy-child was the jurisdiction of only the senior generation, and even that, more out of hab...

Emirates Parent Plus. January 2011 A while ago, I was reading an article on races and their traits. Some are allegedly more prone to philanthropy than others. Some have been shown to be more value-based than most. A few select come across a lot more unscrupulous than everyone else put together and hence less averse to generosity. The question that raised so many jingoistic pronouncements was, among others, a simple enquiry into why some of us, as a race, don’t give back to society. As we step into the second decade of the fairly new millennium, this question becomes pertinent to me, especially as the parent of a young child preparing to become a deciding member of the same society. Within my modest understanding of basic human psychology, I want to attempt exploring this query further. My disclaimer will remain: No individual can claim to have a complete understanding of the human mind and, hence, the ‘collective’ of minds that a race represents. Every word here on, must be seen...

Emirates Parent Plus. December 2010 As usual, it began with a bang! There were tears, there was loud ranting. There were ground teeth. There was a lot of huffing and puffing. There would have been retaliation too, but this time good sense prevailed upon me. And had he clenched his fists any tighter, I am certain his fingers would have come through the other side! My crime of the day: Cutting the chart paper into the “wrong kind of half”!! “Argggggh!” Wanted: 'Natural', diagonal half.  I dared: 'Silly', rectangular half straight down the middle. He was right. There is no way, “this can be made right”! And even the stationer was closed for the day, so a quick replacement was out of the question. This is one of those occasions when it is best to stay very quiet and adopt a reverse conduct – do as told and do as expected (mind read, if that’s what it takes!). So I kept very quiet and hoping that it would appease him a bit, I laid out his colour cards, his paints...

Emirates Parent Plus. November 2010. The vagaries of the English language have always been fodder for much entertainment. While non-native speakers continue to cook its broth most relentlessly, only those who have had personal experience with the in-house battering of this phonetically challenged dialect, mother tongue, or not, can understand that the murder spree of Queen’s English is a heritage that is as old as the very origins of its speakers. History not-withstanding, the scope for sheer variety underscores the speaking fraternity of its faithfuls, where strong accents make for individual languages in their own right. So while there is the Geordie or the Brummie from its lands’s own, we heb our own ramifications, that stand proud, as far as the empire stretched then and as rampant as its influence has spread since. Compounded by phonetic similarities between words among these languages, while they hold no semantic parity, the results of their combinations become epics in th...

Emirates Parent Plus. September 2010. Dread is a notoriously lucrative career. Open any literary anthology, the tales will most usually be spun around depravity of thought or futility of body. The spirit, the free spirit within, remains imprisoned not only in real life but also in those masterful webs of words that win awards upon awards, inspiring more in that line, winding its way across media, slithering, hissing and spitting its juices incessantly iterating the same things variously. And we call this entertainment. Spare a thought! What is it about despair, doom and disillusionment that they always find abundant audience? They manage even the smallest part in the drama we live out every day, and yet they enthuse insatiable appetites for more! After the morning newspapers and more on television and the internet, are people not tired of their own share of these realities that they will go out and spend money to delve into the same of someone else – even when it is a mere product ...

waka waka everyone! Emirates Parent Plus. August 2010 Never mind the many fouls and unsavoury tactics that dotted the World Cup, and let’s just wait and watch if technology will ever lend a third eye across the line and post, but it was the actual ‘football’ that came as a problem to many. England’s Robert Green blamed it for the mess he made of that shot with USA in their very first match and at the end of the deal, Jabulani has more than a few questions to tackle. For the wrong reasons, there will be some others too, who won’t be forgotten soon. And then there are those that will be remembered, fondly, for much longer. Ask psychic octopus Paul, I’m certain he will concur. Though, I must admit, I suspect our clam-eating soothsayer par excellence, had eight hands full of patriotism influencing his predictions. Should he last beyond the expected lifetime of his species, the cephalopod might well be consulted again, to the cheer of many. From India, Pappu the parrot and even Chando...

Emirates Parent Plus. July 2010 It was a sunny afternoon. A surprise in itself, the day ahead provided us more. Bright faced and in increasing order of height, we, ten women, one man and fourteen children, trudged into the room, boys in one file and girls in the other. Sunlight flooded in from windows on the outer wall. I followed the girls and filled the benches on that side of the room. The boys sat on the other side. That is because, girls did needlework and such nimble activity needed all available light. Boys were given the rough bits like carpentry – not so intricate and less strenuous to the eye. During the rest of the day, all those below the age of seven wrote on slates; others wrote with metal-nib pens dipped in ink contained in small ceramic troughs built into the desks. All implements of use, like blotters, rag cloths and booklets were provided and had to be tidied away for the next time. The rules: 1. Silence. 2. Speak when spoken to. 3. Sit with your back strai...

Emirates Parent Plus. June 2010. I had just clicked ‘send’ on the laptop when my little man, deep in thought, dragged his feet into the room. From experience, I knew that I could not have timed the completion of my job better – this was going be a long chat. Or a really short one, depending on how ‘child-friendly’ his thoughts were. Leaning on my knee and rocking a little, he slowly started. “Ma, I am a little worried about when I grow up”. “Why’s that, sweetheart?” “Because...” He had started fiddling with his fingers. “mmm... because when I grow up, I’ll have a wife...” Of course, I am glad to know that. But any opening like this is best served with stoic silence, for the climax comes soon enough. “...and she will have a baby one day...” The wheels in my head were turning at 11,000 RPM. I had to be ready with either the right answer to satisfy him or the perfect evasive tactic so we would both be satisfied. “... and then she’ll spend all her time with the baby an...

Deccan Herald, Sunday, 06 June 2010 http://www.deccanherald.com/content/73550/bustling-colours-amp-bagpipes.html My eyes are closed. I am aware only of a cold autumnal breeze caressing my face. I take a long whiff of the crisp air and open my eyes, rejuvenated. In front of me, far away, I see a curtain of fog slowly revealing in its translucency, the unmistakable outlines of a fortress. As if hypnotised, the cloud of mist sways to the light filtering in from the street lamps in the distance. The moonlight waltzes in, making the ramparts of the fort suddenly shine out in splendour. It is mesmerising, this sensuous dance between the elements. Such a magical welcome sparked my romance with Edinburgh almost immediately. Even the taxi ride felt dramatic. The moon was generous with her light and each cobblestone, smoothened with use, glistened its age. The dark, the empty streets, the narrow lanes, the high walls, higher church spires and those cobbles, all told tales many years old. It...